Thanks to everyone who entered; we had a good laugh judging the entries!
Typically, we couldn't pick one we both liked best, so two lucky people will be winning a THING...
Elin:: "Eh, err, whadidyousay?"
Plum:: "I said, "In 26 spacetime dimensions, these extra unphysical states wind up disappearing from the spectrum. Therefore. Bosonic string quantum mechanics is only consistent if the dimension of spacetime is 26."
Elin *rolling eyes*:: "Oh, right, then."
Fil's Favourite by Sioux (which I nearly disqualified for being such a dreadful pun...)
Elin: What do you mean they've only been calling you Four Eyes for 3 days?Plum: Well, from what I've heard, they've been making fun of you for 2 wigs!
Well done guys! If you can drop me your addresses to duckiemonsterSPLATgmail.com, I'll get your things sorted and in the post as soon as possible :)